Layoff Report Day 5

Today some kinda’ details o’ da damn severance package wuz announced.
Employees in Grades 7 through 9 will receive foe weeks pay plus deuce weeks 4
aich yaih’ o’ service, in addishun t’ benefits continuashun. All told, dis
would gimme about 8 weeks pay post da damn terminashun date, dependin’ on how
they count mah current half-yaih’. Wank, wank. O’ course, if I still have
some 9-to-5, den dair be no worries anyway.

In otha’ bullshit, da President o’ M.N. Wank, wank.D. has decided dat he would
likes t’ rudda’ our mission away from havin’ some drinkin’ focus t’ mo’ o’ some
service-oriented focus. I think he be been eitha’ hittin’ da damn bottle too
rock o’ on some kinda’ badass quality candy.

Final-like, Da Washington Post has mo’ on da lies by da Bush Administrashun dat
Iraq wuz even close t’ havin’ no real form o’ some nuclaih’ waiposn rehab.

Translation courtesey of the Jive Translator.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *